Day 223:all about My Experiences

Well... I know I haven't posted in FOREVER and some people have called me out on it, so I will try and catch up on everything!!! I don't even know where to start... A LOT has happened since my last post. Lets start with medical stuff I guess... I am healing very well and my incisions are doing very good! Of course I HATE the box and the scars that have came along with it, but it is what it is and it will save my life one day.                                    
I don't know if I have mentioned this or not but we did genetic testing  to find the mutated gene, so we can see for sure where I got it, if anyone else has it, or if im just the odd ball in the family that got it first. Today we heard back from Dr. Tate and they have found the gene. The gene that is mutated is the KCNH2 (that probably means NOTHING to most people reading this) but you can look it up and it will tell you A LOT about Long QT. When all of this first happened I was having a lot of anxiety about going out in public anywhere. My mind would start playing games with me and I thought I was going to go down, I would get sick a lot, and would hardly get out of the house because of these terrible feelings. Now I am doing a lot better and have almost no anxiety, and if I do it is for a short period of time and I have learned to just accept it. Its funny because my fear isn't even of me going down again, my fear is that I am going to scare the people around me. Kristi, Nicolle, and Courtney (sisters and brother) all wore a 30 heart monitor to see if they had any problems, and they all came back normal BUT this does not give a 100% accuracy because Long QT is hidden and will only come out sometimes (except in my case, where every test we have done we have seen it) hopefully their genetic testing will all come back normal! *fingers crossed*.
A couple of weeks ago I was facetiming Brody (we will get to him later), and decided I needed to get into the shower. Well after I hung up I noticed that I couldnt feel my hand at all, but I thought I had just laid on it wrong or something. After the feeling went all the way up to my elbow I finally decided to go tell my mom that something was wrong. Soon the feeling had covered the whole right side of my body, mouth, and I wasnt able to speak very well. The feeling started going away and I felt EXHAUSTED, so I went to bed. The next morning we called Dr. Tate, and he said to go into the ER right away. We think I had a mini stroke... I am 19 and I am having all these old people problems!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
If anyone doesnt know I am taking online classes, and its HARD. The work isnt hard but I have NO motivation to do any of it haha but I do anyways and its going pretty good! I am planning to go back to Florida mid April and move out of my house. No I do not know what im going to do next year... and yes I do stress about it everyday!!
Like I said I have been healing very well and had started to get back into volleyball. Although there are things that im not physically able to do yet I have been progressing very well. Well thats about it for medical stuff.. Now onto happy stuff.

Yes there is a different boy. Patrick and I said cya for the last time, and then I found Brody! He claims that he tried to hang out with me in high school, but I had a boyfriend so I didnt give him the time of day (I dont remember it). Well when he found out that I had surgery he messaged me on facebook telling me he was sorry, and he asked how I was doing. I dont really remember writing him, but the messages are there so it must of happened haha. After he kept me company for a couple days while I was healing I decided it was time that we finally hung out. He was coming into St. George for the weekend and we were supposed to go to dinner and a movie. This would have been the first time I have been out of the house for a long time since the accident... I chickened out and he came over and just hung out with the family and I. We hung out everyday that weekend and havent missed a weekend since. He went to Dixie high school and now goes to college in Colorado where he is on a rodeo scholarship, so I only see him on weekends. Everything clicked so fast and we made it official within a little over a week, and I have never wanted it any different. He has seriously changed my life for the better and has been a real blessing that came into my life at the perfect time. We do a lot of fun things together and I will post pictures of it so everyone can be jealous of my perfect relationship ahah. We recently went to Mt. Pleasent for a rodeo and will go to CSI this weekend and then go to SPRING TRAINING together!! Im so excited!! He seriously kills me!! He makes my day EVERY day, makes me laugh ALL THE TIME, and I love him even though he is a dork most of the time haah! 

Day 167: bed rest

Well from the title I'm sure you can tell what I did all day!! When I woke up my mom and I went to kneaders to pick up lunch!! I will not be in a car again for a while!! It hurt so bad!! Weir came and brought me a dirty dr. Pepper!! He didn't know what was really going imon so I had to tell him everything. Patrick came over just for a little and brought me a fruit boquet! 

The rest of the day the family and I just hung out with the family!! I had a couple visitors come over!!(: and I had to show all of them sparkie! Lahexi and Richard came over for a while!! It was nice to see them again!!(: 

Day 166: Discharged

Well I got a whole hour of sleep last night... I'm not used to sleeping on my back!! I can't sleep on my back at all!! I got discharged from the hospital around 11! When we got home we moved my mattress into the living room because one of the side effects from my medication is depression. I don't want to be cooped up in my room alone so I asked to move my mattress. Carrot came over and we just hung out! We laid on my bed and I kinda slept but not really.. Ya feel? Coach Swaney and LWes came over and talked for a little!! It was nice to see them!!(: once they left Patrick came over! He brought me a smoothie and cookies!! He is so good to me!! A little while after he got here Kristi and the girls came over! We all watched pretty little liars! Patrick and I fell asleep a couple times! Once patrick left I fell asleep... But then I woke up 30 minutes later... I'm getting real used to that! I woke up to brush my teeth and take my medication. Ryan said that he would sleep down here with me so I'm not alone so I'm on my mattress and he is on the couch! He is such a good brother!! I seriously have the best family ever!! Now we are just watching friends and about to go to bed. 

Day 165: surgery

Well last night I got about a probably good 3 hours of sleep! I couldn't fall asleep, when I did I didn't stay asleep, and of course I couldn't get comfortable! The life vest keeps giving me bruises! Well I have been awake since 7am... And super bored! Kristi came over and we just kinda visited! Then I started getting ready! Everyone was making fun of me for getting ready but I didn't want to be ugly when I had visitors! I was putting away my clothes and my shockie fell... I got super flusterated and called it stupid:.. A few seconds later it starts to go off... He didn't like to be called stupid... After that happened I got super nervous and wanted to get our of there ASAP! We finally left the house around 12:40 

And I'm pretty ready!! Once we got there we almost immediately went back! But we waited and waited! Tate was in another surgery.

When he finally came we talked for a little and then everyone started getting me ready! When they gave me the good juice and wheeled me into the room:., I felt like I was floating! I have never made it to the operating room... It was weird! A LOT of people were watching because I was the first and youngest to receive this new device in st. George. They had to fly in a whole bunch of doctors from Cali to so it!! I don't even remember falling asleep! When I woke up I was feeling good!! I was feeling good for a while... I guess I was a little bit up in the air... My snapchat story was super funny!! I'll put them up here on a different post! I got out super late... I got out at 6:30!! But when they were testing the machine my heart would go into the spazzing thing and then fix it's self...  They had to do it 3 times before it worked so that's good!! And your body tightens up... Well my doctor didn't want me to hit myself of anything so he held my arms... He told my mamma that it was a struggle and I'm a VERY strong girl haha I don't remember a whole lot of me being high except for crying a lot whenever someone gave me something... Tina, the nieces, Kristi, grandma, and of course my Nixon!! I remember singing a lot... And I called Siotame a titty baby! I guess I am VERY funny when I'm feeling good because I got so many tweets about how funny I was haha!! Al and carrot came to visit!! I missed them!! I have learned that I am VERY loving when I'm on the good stuff!! I haven't slept hardly at all because I sleep on my sides and I can't move from my back... Mamma keeps getting mad at me telling me to put the phone up but I literally can't sleep and I'm bored! I kinda just wanted to let everyone know what the surgery was all about and how it worked! I was put in a defibrillator on my side just under my armpit... Because I am so skinny it will stick out more than usual and it covers my whole side instead of just the front or just the back. The run a wire kind of thing just under my skin across to the sternum once there they make another incision, tie that wire and then change directions and go directly up! The wire is visible but only if you knew but you can sure fill it!! And the defibrillator is sure as heck visible and kinda gross looking!! 

I just wanted to say again: thank you for everyone who has helped in any way!! I am truly so blessed to have this experience as much as it sucks! It has brought my family and friends closer! It has strengthened my testimony and it has made me feel the love from others and the love of god!! I'm so grateful to have such amazing people in my life!! I love y'all!! 

Day 164: Sundays are exhausting

We got moved to the 1 o'clock church so that's good and bad... I get to sleep in but then I don't get a nap... And I still need my nap! Well I slept very well last night, and woke up at about 12 to start getting ready! Well at church literally so many people came up to me! We asked to do a ward to do a ward fast! It was a little overwhelming! 3 hours got messed up... I was soooooooo tired after the first hour! Oh yeah since it was testimony meeting of course my mom went up first cuz I made a joke saying that she has to go up first.., I was already going to go up there! It was a little rough... I couldn't talk because I was crying! After church I debated whether or to take nap! We we started playing cards for a little and Dave made cookies! After it started to settle down I got into the shower! I showered in moms shower because Dave was sleeping in my bed! 

Day 163: Nerd

Well today was the same old... I'm not really allowed to do anything!! I wanted to take a bath so my mom said she would sit by the bath with me!!! Well lately I have been having a lot of psychological problems... I don't know if I already told y'all that or not? But my mind will scare me and fake me getting lightheaded and not feeling good! Today I got super Flustetated because all I wanted to do was take a bath! And I did... For about 3 minutes until my mind started running... We quickly got out just incase it was for real! A little while later everyone wanted to play cards so of course we did... And yes, yes I did win!!(:

Patrick got a new gun and it is very cool! It's a hand gun...9MM... I couldn't tell you anything else about it! Well tonight Patrick and I watched the Great Gastby! It was SOOO good! This is the first time I have watched it!! Well Patrick brought out the glasses tonight... I am like in love with his glasses!! I think I love them so much because they remind me of what he looked like when we first met because he didn't have contacts! He didn't wear them all the time but he would wear them to drive and watch movies mostly! 

Isn't he cute! After he left my mom came in to sleep with me... Maybe I'm not grown... 

Day 162: Boys basketball

Well today just like everyday.... I did nothing... Nicolle thought it would be real cute if she woke me up TWICE!! I didnt think it was very cute!! Finally when i got up for the day I just kinda hung out! Dave asked if I wanted to go to the boys basketball game at 6. Of course I wanted to get out of the house! So we went down to the game well turns out the game is at 7 instead of 6! So we came home and hung out for an hour. 7 came around and we headed to the game! The game was ROUGH worst basketball game I have seen in a while... No one could make a basket... no one would rebound... no one could pass... It just wasnt that great of basketball. After the game was over Patrick and I went to dinner. After dinner we went and got the movie 10 Things I Hate About You!!! GREAT movie!!!

Day 161: BORED BORED BORED

Well today... I was soo bored... Im not allowed to do anything without people freaking out... Like I was playing Mario and got a little excited and it made everyone nervous! Tina had texted me that morning asking me if I was doing anything fun... I told her im not allowed to do anything fun... She asked if I wanted to go to dinner with the family. So we did. We went to Ninja! Nixon was so cute with the chef! Im not going to lie.. I was really nervous being out and about, but Tina said something in the car that made me feel so much better! After they dropped me off Jordan Gines came over! We kinda just hung out and talked with the family! After we went to Ice Burg and got some ice cream! When we got home we put a movie on and sipped on some sparkling cider! We even brought out the fancy wine glasses so we were classy ladies!! (:

Day 160: New Years

On the real note... If someone would have told me a week ago that I would be spending my new years eve babysitting... I would have laughed. What 19 year old girls spends new years babysitting?!? But then again... What 19 year old girls has long QT? Looks like im all kinds of fun! Patrick came over because no one lets me be alone ever.. Well on the way over there I was holding drinks in one hand and all my stuff in the other... Well I forgot that I cant put my phone in my bra... it set my life vest off... that was soooo scary!! Never again will I ever put my phone even close to it!!! I dropped to the floor because I knew that if I was going to fall down... There is no way im falling down standing up... Im a tall girl and that will hurt! I crouched down so fast! We hit the delay button because im not supposed to get shocked if im still awake. Once we got into the house of course I was having a little bit of anxiety. Well freaking Taylor did not help... she was cooking pizza and just screams "FIRE" i thought the house was going to burn down! Well she was talking about the fireworks outside! It took me a little while to calm down after that... Hahah well once Patrick got there we all just kinda watched movies and hung out. Patrick left at about 12:30 and mom and I went home around 1. 

Day 159: Answers

This morning at about 4 I had a dream that I was gasping for air and having chest pain... Well soon after the nurses came in and woke me and Patrick up asking if I was having chest pain or shortness of breath.... I told them no and they told me that something was different with my heart. I called my mom and she came over to the hospital! I had to do a couple more labs and another EKG! But we finally got answers... I have something called LQTS which pretty much means I have something like an abnormal heartbeat... My QT rests for too long and then starts to spaz if it gets too worked up... Im sure yall could research it... Well the doctor told me that he was going to send in the specialist on his lunch break... This meant more waiting. After Dr. Tate came in and explained everything to us he talked about what the next step was... Surgery... I was told that I have to put a defibrillator in! I would be able to go home as soon as a thing called a life vest came in... which is pretty much a external defibrillator. Well the doctor who has to bring it and fit it and everything was on vacation... They were going to try and send someone in from vegas! The day goes on and more people are coming to visit so the time is going by faster! I have learned that you cant cry in a hospital without anyone knowing... Every time I started to cry someone new would come it! It was good but it also sucked because I just wanted some time to cry! FINALLY the life vest came in and I got to go home!!! I got the tutorial on the thing and then he sent me off!! After I got home I showered and then Patrick and I watched a movie until I fell asleep!!

Day 159: Tests, tests, and more tests!

My mom got back to the hospital around 4 or 5 in the morning. Once she got there Patrick left. I was awake by 6 or 7 because I thought the doctor was going to be in shortly and I was going to get cleared to go. Well that did not happen at all! He finally came in about noon, but he didn't bring any good news... I had to get about 5 more tests done today... Being locked up in the hospital almost killed me... again!! Hahahahah too soon? But really... I was so bored! I had a lot of people come see me though so that passed some of the time!! The little old guy that did my EEG was soo cute! He was this little Asian who came here from Korea I wanna say when they went communist... Well long story short... he went back to find his family... they had all been killed!! How freaking sad right?!?! He was just so cute!! The test that he did took 2 hours! and he had to put all this nasty stuff on my head... Well once all my tests were done we were just hoping that the doctor was going to read them that night and I was going to be sent home... That wasn't looking too promising... Literally... the whole family and some were all in my room haah the nurses kept making comments like "oh its a party in here" all that jazz ahah! Once it started to slow down Patrick and I went for a couple of walks and then went to bed.

Day 157: Today my life will be changed forever

Well today started off just like every other Sunday would, and Juli and I were dreading waking up. When we finally got up we got ready for church... of course we were late haha. After sacrament we headed to Hurricane to go to Patricks ward so I could see Jodi Rich!! He pulled me into his office after and talked to me about everything. He then did the same for Pat and then we were on our way! When we got to Patricks house we all started falling asleep. Patrick and I were on his bed talking when he heard the car door shut "guess who is here" he said. I jumped off of the bed and as soon as I got close to the door Nixon was walking in! He ran and gave me the biggest hug! At this point im feeling really light headed, but I just figured that I had gotten up too fast. I said something to Nixon, but couldn't tell if I said it or mumbled it... That was the last thing I remember. (Like I said I don't remember any of this so I hope I get all of the details correct) I had fallen over and passed out and wasn't breathing. At first everyone thought that I was just playing with Nixon, but then Kacen (Patricks brother in-law who is also a cop for Hurricane) made the comment "does she normally do this?" as he sat baby Knoxx down and focused on me! After about a minute of not breathing Kacen searched for a pulse but couldn't find one... He started chest rubs but that didn't work! He soon began CPR and about 30 seconds of that I started making a weird breathing noise and coughing. He then rolled me on my side because it sounded like I needed to throw something up. I woke up to hear Tinas voice just saying my name over and over again and telling me to stay with them. I passed back out until a couple minutes later when the paramedics told me that they needed to prick my finger and Patrick told me to squeeze his had. Then a couple minutes later I woke back up when I was being carried out into the ambulance. I WAS FREEZING!! During the ambulance ride I was in and out of it so many times and I don't know the order in which things happened so ill just tell you the things I remember. I remember Patrick petting my head and telling me that I still looked beautiful. I asked what had happened and Patrick told me that I had picked up Nixon and the collapsed! I somewhat panicked because I thought that I had hurt Nixon, luckily I was on my knees and Nixon had stepped back. I remember panicking because I didn't know where Juli was. And the paramedics asking me what my social was and I couldn't remember it for the life of me... I told them my phone number instead haha. We talked a little bit about snow boarding because I was supposed to go the next day. I was started to stay longer and longer awake the closer we got to the hospital. Once we got there my mom came in... I guess she had to get pretty sassy with the lady that was at the front desk because she wouldn't let her back there!! The doctors came in asking if I knew what had happened and at this point I had NO IDEA! They told me that I had a seizure and we were going to try and find out why but 70% of them don't find solutions. At this point my chest is KILLING!! They told me that they would do a XRay to see if any of my ribs were broken! I did blood work and a cat scan that night! While I was waiting for all these tests and stuff everyone was coming in and out visiting me.. I saw Courtney and Stacie, Mom and Dave, Juli and Patrick, and Tina! The only thing that they could find that was wrong was that my heart enzymes were hyped but that could be because of the CPR! Kacen had done a good job though!! He didn't even brake a single rib! And my bones are weak!! The Doctor soon admitted me to stay the night in the hospital! Guess who was my CNA! My brothers best friend since 5th grade... He is like a brother to me haha. We got into my room probably around 9. I had a couple of visitors before I went to bed. Patrick and I soon fell asleep.

156: Hello Juli

Well this morning I woke up and got ready! Ryan and I drove to Vegas to pick up the bestie!!!! I was stoked to see her!! Well we went and got In and Out burger and started driving home. When we got home we kinda just hung out at the house for a couple house and then we went to dinner with nikki and Zack. After we went to Frostop and got some ice cream! When we got home the boys all wanted to play night games... Juli and I had nothing better to do so we said yes hahah. We played for a couple of hours! It was way fun! Patrick ended up coming over and playing too. When we got done we were going to go hot tubing but then decided not to.. Everyone left and Juli and I just watched a movie and fell asleep!

155: Juli comes tomrrow!!(:

Well today I worked... that is literally about it... When I got off I just kinda got everything ready for Juli. I cleaned the room... did laundry... looked into fixing the hot tub... all that jazz!!!

Day 154: Christmas!!!(:

Well good morning and Merry Christmas! This morning was rough to wake up... probably from the Nyquil hahah well for Christmas I got a lot of good stuff... My big present was a projector! Its wayyy super cool! That Nyquil messed me up... I literally slept all day hahah and when I was awake I was still too tired to go out so I would just watch movies on my projector hahah

Day 153: Christmas Eve!!

I got the girls all ready this morning in cute little Christmas outfits and then we headed to moms! We then went shopping at Walmart and started getting ready for the Christmas eve party! Santa came and we played some games! It was way fun! But not as crazy as I would have liked it to be!

Day 152: FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER!

Once the girls and I got all ready we decided to go get some food and eat it in the park. It was a really nice day today! It was so warm! The girls are soo funny when they can just run around and do whatever they want!
I don't even know what else happened today besides this video!!

While I was on my way to Kristis Jordan had texted me showing me a picture of Patricks tweet... It was something about how on full house Steve leaves DJ for a school in Florida... He made the comment that no one likes to be left for Florida... I wasn't going to text him because you know... im stubborn! But I felt like I really needed to. After us talking a little he asked if he could come over and talk... of course he could.

Day 151: Itsa me... Mario

Honestly I don't remember anything about today except both my little brothers wearing my shirts and playing Mario...

Day 150: Mormons are weird

Hahah so today after work we all went to the ward Christmas party! Some Mormons are weird... hahaha I really hope Adam Larrabee sees this post because there is a super cute picture of him coming up. During the party we had food, singing, entertainment... and of course Santa! Super awkward when I knew "Buddy the Elf" he is one of patricks friends haha.

After the party we went home and played some poker... of course I won the whole thing!!(: Dave gave us a little entertainment when he was juggling! and after Landon, Curtis, Ryan, and I all went and got into the hot tub!

Day 149: Boarding with the Crew

Today the boys and I went boarding.. it was so nice because they got fresh snow so everything was just powder! Well we ended up going through some trees and finding a random jump... we went off of that a couple of times but nothing too crazy! It was just Ryan, Landon, Curtis, and I!

Day 148: Already back to work

Well the original plan for today was to go snowboarding... but someone asked me to take their shift so I did.. I love the Christmas season because everyone tips!! I made 80 dollars in tips! It was soo nice! It was freezing... but it was so nice having so much cash!

Day 147: Good Job Rylee!

Well today I was kinda running mom around her doctor appointments and all of that jazz and then I went and worked out. Al and I worked out at the middle school today, and after my mom picked me up. I had to go get the girls from school and then go to the doctors to pop my back into place!

Today I watched the girls and then Rylee had a dance performance!!! SHE DID SOOO GOOD!!!!!! Best dancer out there... she even had a wardrobe malfunction and she danced right through it!! When she was done we went to Honolulu grill for dinner but I couldn't stay long because I had to go play volleyball again.. Of course I broke more nails and I was kinda mad about it...

Day 146: Making the rounds

Well today I got ready and Carrot and I went to lunch. After lunch we called her next class and she could miss. Well... we went and literally got 6 swigs and took them to some of my favorite teachers! Weir, Miller, Bleak, Sean, carrot and I! We made our rounds and talked to everyone for a little bit!
After this I went and worked out in the high school. 

Day 145: Model from NYC

Haha so the highlight of my day was today when I went into Weirs class... all the guys couldn't stop staring and he was telling everyone that I was a part time model in New York and I played volleyball in Florida... Everyone bought it and they kept asking me all these questions! They thought it would be funny if I blew a kiss to a kid so of course I did and he blushed so much ahah it was really funny!!

Day 144: Im back to nannying

Well today I came back to the job that I had left when I went to Florida.. Im back to nannying! I stay the night... get the girls ready for school... then I get ready.. I go do my thing until 3 and then go pick them back up! Well today I went to the high school and visited some people! My seminary teacher was one of the happiest people to see me! I saw coach swaney.. franke... and just like everyone.. I went to go see weir but he wasn't there... so I had to go pick up the girls! Tonight coach asked me to come play volleyball. So I did... yeah I suck hahah what am I doing with my life... I haven't touched a volleyball in a while and I was terrible... I broke some nails of course! But it was good to get back into it.

Day 143: Back to 3 hours of church!

Well today was just like any other church day... Except.. on the real note... I haven't been to a 3 hour church in a while... It was a little rough and when it was done I was ready to get out of there hahah at least I looked cute right? Just like any other normal sunday we just all hung out for a while.. But after all of this we went and looked at Christmas lights as a family! Ryan was driving for the first time and it was SCARY!