Day 223:all about My Experiences

Well... I know I haven't posted in FOREVER and some people have called me out on it, so I will try and catch up on everything!!! I don't even know where to start... A LOT has happened since my last post. Lets start with medical stuff I guess... I am healing very well and my incisions are doing very good! Of course I HATE the box and the scars that have came along with it, but it is what it is and it will save my life one day.                                    
I don't know if I have mentioned this or not but we did genetic testing  to find the mutated gene, so we can see for sure where I got it, if anyone else has it, or if im just the odd ball in the family that got it first. Today we heard back from Dr. Tate and they have found the gene. The gene that is mutated is the KCNH2 (that probably means NOTHING to most people reading this) but you can look it up and it will tell you A LOT about Long QT. When all of this first happened I was having a lot of anxiety about going out in public anywhere. My mind would start playing games with me and I thought I was going to go down, I would get sick a lot, and would hardly get out of the house because of these terrible feelings. Now I am doing a lot better and have almost no anxiety, and if I do it is for a short period of time and I have learned to just accept it. Its funny because my fear isn't even of me going down again, my fear is that I am going to scare the people around me. Kristi, Nicolle, and Courtney (sisters and brother) all wore a 30 heart monitor to see if they had any problems, and they all came back normal BUT this does not give a 100% accuracy because Long QT is hidden and will only come out sometimes (except in my case, where every test we have done we have seen it) hopefully their genetic testing will all come back normal! *fingers crossed*.
A couple of weeks ago I was facetiming Brody (we will get to him later), and decided I needed to get into the shower. Well after I hung up I noticed that I couldnt feel my hand at all, but I thought I had just laid on it wrong or something. After the feeling went all the way up to my elbow I finally decided to go tell my mom that something was wrong. Soon the feeling had covered the whole right side of my body, mouth, and I wasnt able to speak very well. The feeling started going away and I felt EXHAUSTED, so I went to bed. The next morning we called Dr. Tate, and he said to go into the ER right away. We think I had a mini stroke... I am 19 and I am having all these old people problems!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!
If anyone doesnt know I am taking online classes, and its HARD. The work isnt hard but I have NO motivation to do any of it haha but I do anyways and its going pretty good! I am planning to go back to Florida mid April and move out of my house. No I do not know what im going to do next year... and yes I do stress about it everyday!!
Like I said I have been healing very well and had started to get back into volleyball. Although there are things that im not physically able to do yet I have been progressing very well. Well thats about it for medical stuff.. Now onto happy stuff.

Yes there is a different boy. Patrick and I said cya for the last time, and then I found Brody! He claims that he tried to hang out with me in high school, but I had a boyfriend so I didnt give him the time of day (I dont remember it). Well when he found out that I had surgery he messaged me on facebook telling me he was sorry, and he asked how I was doing. I dont really remember writing him, but the messages are there so it must of happened haha. After he kept me company for a couple days while I was healing I decided it was time that we finally hung out. He was coming into St. George for the weekend and we were supposed to go to dinner and a movie. This would have been the first time I have been out of the house for a long time since the accident... I chickened out and he came over and just hung out with the family and I. We hung out everyday that weekend and havent missed a weekend since. He went to Dixie high school and now goes to college in Colorado where he is on a rodeo scholarship, so I only see him on weekends. Everything clicked so fast and we made it official within a little over a week, and I have never wanted it any different. He has seriously changed my life for the better and has been a real blessing that came into my life at the perfect time. We do a lot of fun things together and I will post pictures of it so everyone can be jealous of my perfect relationship ahah. We recently went to Mt. Pleasent for a rodeo and will go to CSI this weekend and then go to SPRING TRAINING together!! Im so excited!! He seriously kills me!! He makes my day EVERY day, makes me laugh ALL THE TIME, and I love him even though he is a dork most of the time haah! 

Day 167: bed rest

Well from the title I'm sure you can tell what I did all day!! When I woke up my mom and I went to kneaders to pick up lunch!! I will not be in a car again for a while!! It hurt so bad!! Weir came and brought me a dirty dr. Pepper!! He didn't know what was really going imon so I had to tell him everything. Patrick came over just for a little and brought me a fruit boquet! 

The rest of the day the family and I just hung out with the family!! I had a couple visitors come over!!(: and I had to show all of them sparkie! Lahexi and Richard came over for a while!! It was nice to see them again!!(: 

Day 166: Discharged

Well I got a whole hour of sleep last night... I'm not used to sleeping on my back!! I can't sleep on my back at all!! I got discharged from the hospital around 11! When we got home we moved my mattress into the living room because one of the side effects from my medication is depression. I don't want to be cooped up in my room alone so I asked to move my mattress. Carrot came over and we just hung out! We laid on my bed and I kinda slept but not really.. Ya feel? Coach Swaney and LWes came over and talked for a little!! It was nice to see them!!(: once they left Patrick came over! He brought me a smoothie and cookies!! He is so good to me!! A little while after he got here Kristi and the girls came over! We all watched pretty little liars! Patrick and I fell asleep a couple times! Once patrick left I fell asleep... But then I woke up 30 minutes later... I'm getting real used to that! I woke up to brush my teeth and take my medication. Ryan said that he would sleep down here with me so I'm not alone so I'm on my mattress and he is on the couch! He is such a good brother!! I seriously have the best family ever!! Now we are just watching friends and about to go to bed. 

Day 165: surgery

Well last night I got about a probably good 3 hours of sleep! I couldn't fall asleep, when I did I didn't stay asleep, and of course I couldn't get comfortable! The life vest keeps giving me bruises! Well I have been awake since 7am... And super bored! Kristi came over and we just kinda visited! Then I started getting ready! Everyone was making fun of me for getting ready but I didn't want to be ugly when I had visitors! I was putting away my clothes and my shockie fell... I got super flusterated and called it stupid:.. A few seconds later it starts to go off... He didn't like to be called stupid... After that happened I got super nervous and wanted to get our of there ASAP! We finally left the house around 12:40 

And I'm pretty ready!! Once we got there we almost immediately went back! But we waited and waited! Tate was in another surgery.

When he finally came we talked for a little and then everyone started getting me ready! When they gave me the good juice and wheeled me into the room:., I felt like I was floating! I have never made it to the operating room... It was weird! A LOT of people were watching because I was the first and youngest to receive this new device in st. George. They had to fly in a whole bunch of doctors from Cali to so it!! I don't even remember falling asleep! When I woke up I was feeling good!! I was feeling good for a while... I guess I was a little bit up in the air... My snapchat story was super funny!! I'll put them up here on a different post! I got out super late... I got out at 6:30!! But when they were testing the machine my heart would go into the spazzing thing and then fix it's self...  They had to do it 3 times before it worked so that's good!! And your body tightens up... Well my doctor didn't want me to hit myself of anything so he held my arms... He told my mamma that it was a struggle and I'm a VERY strong girl haha I don't remember a whole lot of me being high except for crying a lot whenever someone gave me something... Tina, the nieces, Kristi, grandma, and of course my Nixon!! I remember singing a lot... And I called Siotame a titty baby! I guess I am VERY funny when I'm feeling good because I got so many tweets about how funny I was haha!! Al and carrot came to visit!! I missed them!! I have learned that I am VERY loving when I'm on the good stuff!! I haven't slept hardly at all because I sleep on my sides and I can't move from my back... Mamma keeps getting mad at me telling me to put the phone up but I literally can't sleep and I'm bored! I kinda just wanted to let everyone know what the surgery was all about and how it worked! I was put in a defibrillator on my side just under my armpit... Because I am so skinny it will stick out more than usual and it covers my whole side instead of just the front or just the back. The run a wire kind of thing just under my skin across to the sternum once there they make another incision, tie that wire and then change directions and go directly up! The wire is visible but only if you knew but you can sure fill it!! And the defibrillator is sure as heck visible and kinda gross looking!! 

I just wanted to say again: thank you for everyone who has helped in any way!! I am truly so blessed to have this experience as much as it sucks! It has brought my family and friends closer! It has strengthened my testimony and it has made me feel the love from others and the love of god!! I'm so grateful to have such amazing people in my life!! I love y'all!! 

Day 164: Sundays are exhausting

We got moved to the 1 o'clock church so that's good and bad... I get to sleep in but then I don't get a nap... And I still need my nap! Well I slept very well last night, and woke up at about 12 to start getting ready! Well at church literally so many people came up to me! We asked to do a ward to do a ward fast! It was a little overwhelming! 3 hours got messed up... I was soooooooo tired after the first hour! Oh yeah since it was testimony meeting of course my mom went up first cuz I made a joke saying that she has to go up first.., I was already going to go up there! It was a little rough... I couldn't talk because I was crying! After church I debated whether or to take nap! We we started playing cards for a little and Dave made cookies! After it started to settle down I got into the shower! I showered in moms shower because Dave was sleeping in my bed! 

Day 163: Nerd

Well today was the same old... I'm not really allowed to do anything!! I wanted to take a bath so my mom said she would sit by the bath with me!!! Well lately I have been having a lot of psychological problems... I don't know if I already told y'all that or not? But my mind will scare me and fake me getting lightheaded and not feeling good! Today I got super Flustetated because all I wanted to do was take a bath! And I did... For about 3 minutes until my mind started running... We quickly got out just incase it was for real! A little while later everyone wanted to play cards so of course we did... And yes, yes I did win!!(:

Patrick got a new gun and it is very cool! It's a hand gun...9MM... I couldn't tell you anything else about it! Well tonight Patrick and I watched the Great Gastby! It was SOOO good! This is the first time I have watched it!! Well Patrick brought out the glasses tonight... I am like in love with his glasses!! I think I love them so much because they remind me of what he looked like when we first met because he didn't have contacts! He didn't wear them all the time but he would wear them to drive and watch movies mostly! 

Isn't he cute! After he left my mom came in to sleep with me... Maybe I'm not grown... 

Day 162: Boys basketball

Well today just like everyday.... I did nothing... Nicolle thought it would be real cute if she woke me up TWICE!! I didnt think it was very cute!! Finally when i got up for the day I just kinda hung out! Dave asked if I wanted to go to the boys basketball game at 6. Of course I wanted to get out of the house! So we went down to the game well turns out the game is at 7 instead of 6! So we came home and hung out for an hour. 7 came around and we headed to the game! The game was ROUGH worst basketball game I have seen in a while... No one could make a basket... no one would rebound... no one could pass... It just wasnt that great of basketball. After the game was over Patrick and I went to dinner. After dinner we went and got the movie 10 Things I Hate About You!!! GREAT movie!!!